Beyond the Trilogy of Life

I

Fearing new things
Strange feelings never felt before
Heart pounding pandemonium
Goosebumps forming rapidly
Hairs sticking up
What does this entity want from me?

Looking back
Pondering these visions I’ve had
The chaos, The self violence
And every dread in-between
As self hatred was
The needles within my mask

Looking presently into the mirror, I see scars
Scars that only I can see
And then appearing in the background
Of my imaged self
Darkness, Pure darkness, A black mass of self doubt indeed

And then the past appears behind me
Stabbing me in my back
Stabbing straight into my heart
Piercing it over and over
Twisting into it, Setting it on fire, Burning it into oblivion
Turning it into the Dante’s inferno of my mind
As the Demonic Vultures arrive for seconds

And then I hear a bunch of warped like shrilling desperate screams
Screaming “The past is not worth going back to”
What have I let myself become?
How could I let such simplicity ruin my life?
Emotions thick with self burden
As the voices of reason resonate to silence
As this prideful spiteful ignorance
Drowns them out


II

Through the years
What a great actor I use to be
Could hide emotions like no other
Was gifted in the gift of invisibility
As every single opportunity passed on by


Some said I was strong
While others thought I was wrong
Rain, How it can pour sadness
How it can prolong sleep
As the darkness of this awakening
Becomes the darkness of the week

Perhaps to a great many of this world
I may not make any sense
Could be viewed as someone scary
As I lock myself in these emotions
Screaming inside the very box
I have lured myself to suffering into

III

Searching in the dark
Pulling it all together
Finding a handle within this enclosed paradox
Turning it fast, Turning it as fast as I can
Hearing such heavenly music playing
Popping out, Jumping out of the box
World, I hope you know who I am

Running out
All over the place
Like words being mixed around
With stanzas searching for disclosed chaos
Trying to start a new day
More magical than ever before

Life, A new lease
Not perfect at the least
But myself at the most
Searching for a brand new abode
Warmness to hold
Don’t need much in life
Greed will never get the best of me
Never shall I do it’s bidding, No

There is so much sacredness
That I hold within
Deep inside this heart
Where perhaps a few only know of
But that few grows to unlimited respect
I guess some get me, Many don’t?
Or am I just too oblivious ?
Too oblivious of what eyes are peeking into me?
Setting onto places I have never known to exist?

Somehow I feel the sky is calling out
Yelling beyond the gray clouds of agony
Yelling to me that above the gray is blue
Fly up high into the heavens
Into the golden dreams
That sparkles just for you

And….

Only one knows when I’m hurt
Only one knows when I am feeling great
And that one shall get to know more of, Me
And being as one living in peaceful prosperity
On this very day My… Epiphany arrives with a sacred welcoming
Helping me,… feel brand new

Triple teamed by the common sense of this life’s humbled resurgence
Where the bad teaches the good, The good teaches the bad
And the future has a great chance of being better than ever before

The entity was a combination of all of these fears
Fears that will surely come back
But someday they ALL will be gone
And then I can truly be at rest
As I hold love strongly forever
Living within this eternal soul

Hope exists, Hope truly exists
These visions so clear, So clear
Love, Here I come



Written By,
James Darwin Smith II
10/29/11

Hear my Heart Calling

Hear my heart calling
Tuning into the sounds of admiration
Rhythmic to an octave muse setting
Strumming to your multi dimensional soul

Ah, See the sparkles
In these very eyes
The sparkles you created
All with your beauty and charm
With your sharp witty humor
Ah, An intellect that defies limits itself, Yes

My love, Feel this heart amongst you
The very thing you helped rebuild
With the tools of your very own solace
Upon a paradise beyond even beauty itself

Oh, My love, My admiration
Creator of these masterpiece dreams
The source of this heart’s very own salvation
Oh, How I am blessed by your very own kingdom within

Grateful from the religion of love
As our romance shall become it’s very own denomination

Ah, My love
As of now
Unsolved you and me
But in time
We shall come forward
Swallow each others stubborn pride
And kiss our slumbering night’s ethereal

My beauty, My love
Do you dream these dreams too?



Written By,
James Darwin Smith II
10/21/11

Love's Strength through life's Longevity

Love’s strength
Reigns glorious upon this very heart
Reenergized for a new beginning
Inspired by the fire that burns within
As I walk with the biggest grin
That I have ever grinned

Smiling with the sun
As it beams it’s warmness upon my face
Walking peacefully amongst nature’s grace
Taking in these sacred surroundings
Holding onto dreams of future fulfillments
Personal in the sense of my own natural substance gleaming

Looking high up into the sky
This heart begins to sing lullabies
Solace full of prospering dreams
Beating to the sound of reassurance
Killing doubt slowly but surely

Being alone
No longer brings sadness
But tears of joy
Knowing I exist
Unique and self essential
Loving myself
Spreading my love to others

Denial hits
Doubt returns
Looking outside in
Losing faith
As I see happiness amongst numbers
As I stand here alone
Wondering why it’s just
Me, Myself and I

Shy I am
A shadow of silent expression
Blending in with night’s loneliness
As the sun bids it’s farewell

But I rise above it
Adapt myself for my own survival
Believing in my heart’s consent
Making myself happy for change
Towards better endeavors

Building foundations for each of these dreams
No matter how far fetched they may seem
To not believe in anything
What does that achieve?, Nothing

This fire inside keeps burning
Always there when I need reassurance
Of who I am
What makes me be
As I have finally become
Optimistic in life’s longevity

I cease to give in
Never shall I give into
Death’s wish for a tragic ending

My own personal execution forever gone
Destroyed by life’s poetic endurance
Upon the stanzas of my own personal belief
As I have finally become free
Of my own inner tyranny

In the future
I know they’ll be bumpy roads
They’ll be tragedy
But I will rise above it all
Becoming stronger than ever before

A lover, A warrior, An open book
That is what will become of me



Written By,
James Darwin Smith II
10/10/11

The Inner View

Drowning in this bay of tears
Staying away from happiness
Hiding myself from others
Astute as always
As my outer
Topples my inner
Motional sickness
As these words
Become untranslatable
To the streets
That weep fall’s alienation

A step ahead of misery
A step back from sublime
Pulling myself into the center
Of irrational longevity
Rational by my own
Inner fragmented unison
Universal upon anti nihilistic apprehensions
In the gray area of subliminal
Words branded in black and white

No charades
As music plays
Inside this warp speeding mind

Octaves burrowing
Into each beat of my heart
Notes hovering around
The senses of my own tuition’s intuitional
Inclined decline

Mass dysfunctional functions
Pushes the button of apprehension
Hiding in a dead end corner, crying out for peace
Through the firepower of cowering away

In a plane view of astral projection
This imagination comes alive
Before these very lonely eyes
Giving comfort and attention
To a world I created with my own inner visions
Fighting for harmony’s calming arrival

Open arms
Risen before me
Somehow they are mine
Running to them
Falling through them
Down a rabbit hole
Full of macabre intentions

Climbing out
Covered in shame
Running away
Looking behind
I can see the skeleton’s of self regret
Chasing me, Ready to eat my soul alive

I run and run
Through waterfalls of madness
Rushing down my face

Eyes stinging from the waters escape
Blinded by fear
Confusion is back
Stronger than ever before

I hide, Hide away
Wasting another day
Locked inside my own solitary confinement

I sleep and sleep
Dreaming away the pain
Laughing off the insanity
Becoming more confident the next day
Breathing in the fresh air of today’s venture
Into the prosperity of my own ambitions within

Digging deeper into my own wellbeing
Conjuring up my own private spirituality
The self achievement of my own personal belief

An epiphany lights up
The dark ominous mass
That once hovered over me dies

For the moment
Positive killed negative
Dethroning the self made malice
for which I finally lost

Taking it all in
Openly, Poetically willingly
In strides growing larger within this life

A smile surfaces upon my face
Bittersweet beyond the end
Rewarding myself with confidence
Knowing the importance
Of the air that makes
This balanced water animate itself within

My emotions balanced
Today and hopefully many days after that

Living, Breathing within my own imagination
And if that imagination were to be rejected by another
Well at least I can say I accept it myself
And that is all that matters from here on out
Beyond the bay, Even beyond the ocean of grace

Swimming, I have learned to swim
Into the deepest regions
Of my own purified water within

Another day down
Perhaps more positive days ahead?



Written By,
James Darwin Smith II
9/30/11

King Dumb of Tragedy

Usually I don't put poems like this on poetic salvation, The usually go elsewhere. But this time I put this on, There is no salvation in this. Well getting it out haha



Imbecile of honor
Painted gold from an elite upbringing
Commanding his would be fairytale princess
To honor his retched heart
In the abasing of her own wellbeing

Knight in rusty armor
Awestruck by her angelic stride
Inspired by the beauty that flows inside her
Ready, Willing and able to honor her beautiful heart
In the celebration of love’s true magical form

Imbecile of honor
With riches to the max
Resources beyond a modest man’s comprehension
Heart full of greed and vanity
Ready to pounce on what
Is already proclaimed as his

Knight of rusty armor
Not rich but gets by
Resources below a princess’s expectation

Yet, With a heart unlimited in value
He strives to do his very best
To make sure she is always happy

He would go to hell and back
To make sure she was safe and secured

Loud this imbecile of honor
Drowning out the words of an honest Knight
Yelling vulgarities to his now broken princess
Tearing her soul apart
But she stays
Because she knows no other way of life

Defeated this Knight once full of earnest honor
Stabs himself straight into his own heart
With the sword he once took pride in
The sword he created with his own blood, Sweat and tears

Safe of any self doubt
This imbecile drenched of ill intention
Destroys her very fragile soul just for fun
Moves onto his next venture
Vanquishing all true beauty
Because his ego needs to be fed

Now crowned King of the fools
The imbecile makes sure
Love is broken
In his very kingdom of dictatorship

No one shall live happily ever after
But him and him alone

The End?
Why?




Written By,
James Darwin Smith II
9/28/11

Star Struck

Frolicking stars
How they shine carefree
Gravitating beyond worry
Graced upon the gift of light
Debonair upon structured intent
Shining so magically bright
Rejoicing in the clarity of planetary nights
Beaming beauty in the honor
Of inspiring harmony within

Space, Their bearers
Birthing them to new frontiers
Building the young to be strong
As the old pass on with bravery
Never to be forgotten
By universal praises
Of love, honor and devotion

The youthful tranquility
Stars standing so mightily proud
Seeing what comes and what goes
Being energetic, Being full of captivation
Through the eyes of the many dimensions
That learn from their basking of knowledge

Such artistry they are
Masterpieces each one
Crafted for special meaning
Cells that help evolve the universe
Into a well refined eternal machine

Such beauty these frolicking stars
Divine in their own salvation
Pilots driving all inhabitants
To a unified destination
Where someday all life inhabits as one

A mystery these stars
But that is the fun
The beauty of them all

May our souls forever shine as one
As our love
Will always be the beats
To their most gifting hearts

No matter what we all believe in
The Universe is here
To help guide us all
Into the celebration of the unknown
The exploration of many answers to come



Written By,
James Darwin Smith II
9/20/11

Me, Myself and I

I have myself
And that is good enough
Reaching in
Deep within
Loving myself
More than anyone proclaimed
They loved me

Trusting myself
Walls feel so cozy and nice
Nothing will ever alienate me
After all I do have I

All these problems
They are mine
So why should I share them?
They make me more stronger
More durable with time

And this very love I have
Within myself
Spreads all throughout this heart
After all I have nobody else around me
So why force the issue of denial?

But that is ok
For once I write for me
In positive form
Dedicating these words
To my enduring destiny

Every problem is trivial
Who cares if I was hurt
This is all about me
A spirit that is free

No I am not arrogant
Not overcompensating here
Confident that is me
Why wallow in misery?
What good does that do?

I will never ignore myself again
Life inside these walls
Makes me feel free

But break them down
If you really care

So there you go
Still feeling fine
Within my own confinement

I love me myself and I
Why should my emotions
Feel desolated
By the distance
Of one giving me any of their time?

But feel free reach in
So tired of reaching out
So now do you understand?

Now do you know where I am coming from?
If so, Good, let the unity begin

And if confused
Just ask what is on my mind
I never bite the hand that feeds me
Lets be real with each other
For once in one of others lives

I await your call

But no matter what
I do still have myself
And that should be good enough

I do love you
But I am sick of loving others
Way more than I have ever loved myself
Do you get what I am saying?
Good, Love yourself as I love I