Beyond the Trilogy of Life

I

Fearing new things
Strange feelings never felt before
Heart pounding pandemonium
Goosebumps forming rapidly
Hairs sticking up
What does this entity want from me?

Looking back
Pondering these visions I’ve had
The chaos, The self violence
And every dread in-between
As self hatred was
The needles within my mask

Looking presently into the mirror, I see scars
Scars that only I can see
And then appearing in the background
Of my imaged self
Darkness, Pure darkness, A black mass of self doubt indeed

And then the past appears behind me
Stabbing me in my back
Stabbing straight into my heart
Piercing it over and over
Twisting into it, Setting it on fire, Burning it into oblivion
Turning it into the Dante’s inferno of my mind
As the Demonic Vultures arrive for seconds

And then I hear a bunch of warped like shrilling desperate screams
Screaming “The past is not worth going back to”
What have I let myself become?
How could I let such simplicity ruin my life?
Emotions thick with self burden
As the voices of reason resonate to silence
As this prideful spiteful ignorance
Drowns them out


II

Through the years
What a great actor I use to be
Could hide emotions like no other
Was gifted in the gift of invisibility
As every single opportunity passed on by


Some said I was strong
While others thought I was wrong
Rain, How it can pour sadness
How it can prolong sleep
As the darkness of this awakening
Becomes the darkness of the week

Perhaps to a great many of this world
I may not make any sense
Could be viewed as someone scary
As I lock myself in these emotions
Screaming inside the very box
I have lured myself to suffering into

III

Searching in the dark
Pulling it all together
Finding a handle within this enclosed paradox
Turning it fast, Turning it as fast as I can
Hearing such heavenly music playing
Popping out, Jumping out of the box
World, I hope you know who I am

Running out
All over the place
Like words being mixed around
With stanzas searching for disclosed chaos
Trying to start a new day
More magical than ever before

Life, A new lease
Not perfect at the least
But myself at the most
Searching for a brand new abode
Warmness to hold
Don’t need much in life
Greed will never get the best of me
Never shall I do it’s bidding, No

There is so much sacredness
That I hold within
Deep inside this heart
Where perhaps a few only know of
But that few grows to unlimited respect
I guess some get me, Many don’t?
Or am I just too oblivious ?
Too oblivious of what eyes are peeking into me?
Setting onto places I have never known to exist?

Somehow I feel the sky is calling out
Yelling beyond the gray clouds of agony
Yelling to me that above the gray is blue
Fly up high into the heavens
Into the golden dreams
That sparkles just for you

And….

Only one knows when I’m hurt
Only one knows when I am feeling great
And that one shall get to know more of, Me
And being as one living in peaceful prosperity
On this very day My… Epiphany arrives with a sacred welcoming
Helping me,… feel brand new

Triple teamed by the common sense of this life’s humbled resurgence
Where the bad teaches the good, The good teaches the bad
And the future has a great chance of being better than ever before

The entity was a combination of all of these fears
Fears that will surely come back
But someday they ALL will be gone
And then I can truly be at rest
As I hold love strongly forever
Living within this eternal soul

Hope exists, Hope truly exists
These visions so clear, So clear
Love, Here I come



Written By,
James Darwin Smith II
10/29/11