Beyond the Trilogy of Life

I

Fearing new things
Strange feelings never felt before
Heart pounding pandemonium
Goosebumps forming rapidly
Hairs sticking up
What does this entity want from me?

Looking back
Pondering these visions I’ve had
The chaos, The self violence
And every dread in-between
As self hatred was
The needles within my mask

Looking presently into the mirror, I see scars
Scars that only I can see
And then appearing in the background
Of my imaged self
Darkness, Pure darkness, A black mass of self doubt indeed

And then the past appears behind me
Stabbing me in my back
Stabbing straight into my heart
Piercing it over and over
Twisting into it, Setting it on fire, Burning it into oblivion
Turning it into the Dante’s inferno of my mind
As the Demonic Vultures arrive for seconds

And then I hear a bunch of warped like shrilling desperate screams
Screaming “The past is not worth going back to”
What have I let myself become?
How could I let such simplicity ruin my life?
Emotions thick with self burden
As the voices of reason resonate to silence
As this prideful spiteful ignorance
Drowns them out


II

Through the years
What a great actor I use to be
Could hide emotions like no other
Was gifted in the gift of invisibility
As every single opportunity passed on by


Some said I was strong
While others thought I was wrong
Rain, How it can pour sadness
How it can prolong sleep
As the darkness of this awakening
Becomes the darkness of the week

Perhaps to a great many of this world
I may not make any sense
Could be viewed as someone scary
As I lock myself in these emotions
Screaming inside the very box
I have lured myself to suffering into

III

Searching in the dark
Pulling it all together
Finding a handle within this enclosed paradox
Turning it fast, Turning it as fast as I can
Hearing such heavenly music playing
Popping out, Jumping out of the box
World, I hope you know who I am

Running out
All over the place
Like words being mixed around
With stanzas searching for disclosed chaos
Trying to start a new day
More magical than ever before

Life, A new lease
Not perfect at the least
But myself at the most
Searching for a brand new abode
Warmness to hold
Don’t need much in life
Greed will never get the best of me
Never shall I do it’s bidding, No

There is so much sacredness
That I hold within
Deep inside this heart
Where perhaps a few only know of
But that few grows to unlimited respect
I guess some get me, Many don’t?
Or am I just too oblivious ?
Too oblivious of what eyes are peeking into me?
Setting onto places I have never known to exist?

Somehow I feel the sky is calling out
Yelling beyond the gray clouds of agony
Yelling to me that above the gray is blue
Fly up high into the heavens
Into the golden dreams
That sparkles just for you

And….

Only one knows when I’m hurt
Only one knows when I am feeling great
And that one shall get to know more of, Me
And being as one living in peaceful prosperity
On this very day My… Epiphany arrives with a sacred welcoming
Helping me,… feel brand new

Triple teamed by the common sense of this life’s humbled resurgence
Where the bad teaches the good, The good teaches the bad
And the future has a great chance of being better than ever before

The entity was a combination of all of these fears
Fears that will surely come back
But someday they ALL will be gone
And then I can truly be at rest
As I hold love strongly forever
Living within this eternal soul

Hope exists, Hope truly exists
These visions so clear, So clear
Love, Here I come



Written By,
James Darwin Smith II
10/29/11

Hear my Heart Calling

Hear my heart calling
Tuning into the sounds of admiration
Rhythmic to an octave muse setting
Strumming to your multi dimensional soul

Ah, See the sparkles
In these very eyes
The sparkles you created
All with your beauty and charm
With your sharp witty humor
Ah, An intellect that defies limits itself, Yes

My love, Feel this heart amongst you
The very thing you helped rebuild
With the tools of your very own solace
Upon a paradise beyond even beauty itself

Oh, My love, My admiration
Creator of these masterpiece dreams
The source of this heart’s very own salvation
Oh, How I am blessed by your very own kingdom within

Grateful from the religion of love
As our romance shall become it’s very own denomination

Ah, My love
As of now
Unsolved you and me
But in time
We shall come forward
Swallow each others stubborn pride
And kiss our slumbering night’s ethereal

My beauty, My love
Do you dream these dreams too?



Written By,
James Darwin Smith II
10/21/11

Love's Strength through life's Longevity

Love’s strength
Reigns glorious upon this very heart
Reenergized for a new beginning
Inspired by the fire that burns within
As I walk with the biggest grin
That I have ever grinned

Smiling with the sun
As it beams it’s warmness upon my face
Walking peacefully amongst nature’s grace
Taking in these sacred surroundings
Holding onto dreams of future fulfillments
Personal in the sense of my own natural substance gleaming

Looking high up into the sky
This heart begins to sing lullabies
Solace full of prospering dreams
Beating to the sound of reassurance
Killing doubt slowly but surely

Being alone
No longer brings sadness
But tears of joy
Knowing I exist
Unique and self essential
Loving myself
Spreading my love to others

Denial hits
Doubt returns
Looking outside in
Losing faith
As I see happiness amongst numbers
As I stand here alone
Wondering why it’s just
Me, Myself and I

Shy I am
A shadow of silent expression
Blending in with night’s loneliness
As the sun bids it’s farewell

But I rise above it
Adapt myself for my own survival
Believing in my heart’s consent
Making myself happy for change
Towards better endeavors

Building foundations for each of these dreams
No matter how far fetched they may seem
To not believe in anything
What does that achieve?, Nothing

This fire inside keeps burning
Always there when I need reassurance
Of who I am
What makes me be
As I have finally become
Optimistic in life’s longevity

I cease to give in
Never shall I give into
Death’s wish for a tragic ending

My own personal execution forever gone
Destroyed by life’s poetic endurance
Upon the stanzas of my own personal belief
As I have finally become free
Of my own inner tyranny

In the future
I know they’ll be bumpy roads
They’ll be tragedy
But I will rise above it all
Becoming stronger than ever before

A lover, A warrior, An open book
That is what will become of me



Written By,
James Darwin Smith II
10/10/11